Wednesday, March 31, 2010

School is . . .

. . . being annihilated by me! I ace tests and classes like I'm doing long division and I really good at long division! I decided to not let school stress me out because, hi, I'm Verity and I'm engaged and my bangs aren't growing fast enough so you know I have enough to worry about! I love run-ons.

Today I went to go check on the progress of my beloved dress. This is a great story by the way. So the girl that knows everything and is awesome and has a really good looking nose ring usually helps me and she is the best. But. Today. She. Was. Not. There. And do you want to know who was? Some woman who made me feel lethargic just looking.

Now. For the record. I do NOT judge people. Period. And I don't mock (unless you and I are talking and we KNOW each other very well!) appearance. I will gladly say that in my head I make fun of the things the people who are mean to me say because they are mean anyways. . . tangent. Anyway. What I'm saying is that since I do hair, I can see some NASTAYYYY stuff, but I'm just nice and make you look fabulous so what I see and do is between you and the stylist. Amen.

So this lady looks like she needs to come see me in the salon. I don't think anything of it.

Now, I think wedding dresses are a big deal. Hopefully, and in my case, it is going to be my very only-est one and I think it is important to be excited or at least be nice about it. But no. I walked in and what is the number one rule of working!? Saying "Hello!" to the person who walks in the door! Well, I walked in. . . and then in my mind I walked in again because I thought I was having a delayed reaction.

Fast forward thirty minutes and I'm wandering like a chicken with its head cut off STILL by myself, not greeted. So what did I do!? I called my mom, duh. Psh. If they weren't going to talk to me, SOMEONE was going to! So after a very quick conversation with her, I was greeted by the lady of doom. Holy Vile, was I frightened. I am a sturdy person. I am proud that I can handle myself, but as soon as she told me that some one didn't simply put the dress in a white bag instead of a clear bag, I got scared!

Basically, I just whispered the rest of the time, which is downright weird for me since I can't even whisper to my mom on the pew during church, and got out of there right quick. And then I went to Sonic and watched the rollerskaters do backflips and 360's till I was happy again. (It took a few seconds. . :) So tomorrow I will go back to my shop and talk to my lovely assistant girl that includes me on all decisions and I don't mind it, not one bit.

Weird fact of the day, today Jake's hair smelt better than mine. . . like, girly better than mine. And then I remembered I gave him that nice Bedhead shampoo because I forgot to give him a birthday present. . . . he smelt really yummy!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I'm not counting down. . .

. . . at all, but I'm keeping tabs on weird things--I call it my shopping list. I opened a new tube of Crest the other day and the main thought I had was, "Huh, this is the last tube of toothpaste that I'll ever get to my own self." I opened another new toothbrush and the same thought came. "Hm, next time I buy a new toothbrush, it's going to be better to buy the doubled up ones." This is happening with EVERYTHING! It's so funny! I'll have to get a bigger bottle of lotion next time, different shampoos that don't smell so fem, makeup and even school supplies like paper, pencils and pens!

*side note, there is an all-out cat war behind my house right. now. I think some death is occuring. I don't care at all, I just wish they would mind their matters and use their quiet death voices*

Spring break was a week ago and since Jake's parentals live in Pinetop-Lakeside we roadtripped up there to get some plans chiseled out. Pretty much our trip turned into a big book reading fest. A friend/client of mine told me all about this book called The Hunger Games and holy moly! We read it from Payson to Show Low and we basically are in love with it! Holy cow it's so good. We finished the book together (I read it aloud. . . I was H.O.A.R.S.E when we got back to the valley) right when we hit Fountain Hills and we had the sequel with us! Secretly I read the whole thing but I wasn't supposed to and I feel bad so I'm going to read it aloud with Jake! He knows I read a bit, but I'm not going to tell him how much! muwahah!!!!! I love love love it! I can't decide who I like more though from the book. There's Gale and Peeta. I think Peeta is better. . .

I love hot cheetohs and when I get married I'm going to have them stocked in my year supply. . . That's a lot of chips :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Pinetop-Lakeside, Arizona

There is a small town in Arizona in the scenic White Mountains of Arizona. Of four thousand, five hundred and thirty-six (4,536) people, 2,302 are of the male species and 2,234 human beings are female. Of those numbers are three people.

This is JackDen. He is the shiz and has naturally arched and perfected eyebrows. He also is the human that likes me so much that he wants to change my last name to his last name. It's cool.

These is Sean and Maria. (Also known as Sergay and Maw-ree-ah.) These are the children siblings of said Jake. They both have braces and like listening to Rihanna while we roll on dubs with the bass booming in the Audi.

They make up a small 3 in a large fourthousandsomething, but they are really cool and I'm proud to have them as future sibling-things-in-law-or-nothing.

In Pinetop-Lakeside, the cool thing to do on a Saturday night is going to Wal-Mart aka the mall. (If you go and someone invites you to the mall, decline or you'll be on your way to the Show-Low Wal-Mart.)

Another cool thing to do is talk to people on facebook and take facebook profile pictures while acting all weird and emo. Little Sergay and Mahreeah love that second one. Jake and I came to their rescue, thank goodness.

We went to Pinetop to get stuff a little more organized for the day when my name changes, and I learned about Pinetopians.

The first thing to know is that ShowLow has the best fireworks ever.
The second thing to know is that where in the valley, stake dances are a weekly thing, in P-L, they're only on a month to month base.

Anyway, my fingers hurt from cutting hair and I'm bored of myself. Moral of the story, Pinteop-Lakeside is a really small town and unless you go to the Marble Slab and the Show-Low Wal-Mart, you really missing out.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I am glad. . .

. . . for many wonderful things right now.
1. I'm glad I don't have a mustache.
2. I'm glad for ladies who thread my eyebrows.
3. I'm thankful for being able to wax girls who DO have said mustaches.
4. I'm thankful that I have a mild case of pterygium.
5. I'm thankful for my dog that sleeps on my bed and has dreams where he's running that leave me on the floor because he is my second best friend and a best friend would only wake up a best friend if they were bad dreaming or in some kind of danger.
6. I'm thankful I'm not tone deaf so I can tell if someone is.
7. I'm glad that I have a lava lamp even though we're fighting.
8. I'm glad ice cream cheers me up in any occasion.
9. I'm glad that I don't have dark hair.
10. I'm glad my mom bought me nailpolish.
11. I'm glad my ears are double pierced.
12. I'm glad that I have solution for my ear's second holes infections.
13. I'm glad that I have a bathtub.
14. I'm glad that I wear boy deoderant.
15. I'm glad I won "Student of the Month" in junior high a million years ago.
16. I'm glad that I got a trophy for ^^ because it's my only one and I'm ding dong proud.
17. I'm glad I make up stories to tell people at institute.
18. I'm glad to be a lefthanded lady.
19. I'm glad I'm not 19.
20. I'm super glad I'm 20.

Dear ears, please feel better. I love you and I need you.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Twilight is good.

In lieu of Twilight coming out and all the excitement, I thought I should bring people back to the truth and the light. My name is Reverend Verity and I call you all to repentance. Amen.

Let me start off with this rebuttal. I love movies and I love entertainment. Therefore, I read a lot, I watch a lot of movies, and I (being the hair stylist I am) am constantly catching up on the latest drama of Hollywood. Rebuttal--complete.

Twilight. I devoured the novels. I poured over those books like I didn't need to eat, sleep or bathe. I thought they were good entertainment. Everyone has heard the saying, "On time really means late and early means on time." Well, for this blog we're following the notion that "Good really means pathetic. Fantastic means good. Magnificent means great."

Harry Potter is magnificent. Pearl Harbor is fantastic. Twilight is good.

Because of Harry Potter, I want to have a pet owl. I want to bathe in the prefects bathroom because Moaning Myrtle is the bees knees. I want to snog Ron (Jacob is okay with this!). I want to wear the Cloak of Invisiblity to Professor Snape's class and throw spitwads at him. I want to drink Butterbeer in Hogsmeade and I want to play with Fluffy. Harry Potter is super magnificent because it has such fantastic subplots. J.K. is a brilliant woman and she truly undestood the concept of a real and lasting plot which I can very much appreciate.

Twillight. Dearest, poorest, Twilight. I am sad for the preteens who get their hands on that sad book. "A-ha!" you say to me! But no, my rebuttal is in view. I did read the book and all its sequels. In the few days it took me to read the whole series, I feel like I really was part of the book! Edward taught me many things that I could take to real life.

1. All future boyfriends must stalk me from my bedroom window if they want a chance to snog me.
2. Eating on dates is unacceptable. . . in fact, eating at all is not allowed. (Girls, this diet works! I'm down to 64 pounds!)
3. Sleeping is weird. Try to not do it because it's embarrassing.
4. Ditching school is totally chill. Who cares!
5. If you're not beautiful, meh. You might as well get eaten by the Red Head.
6. All boys are mean, d-bags.

I find it so completely NUTS that preteens are reading this to grow up by! Shoooot. I was reading Shel Silverstein, Eoin Colfer and Sharon Creech! I'm not going to lie, I'm most likely never going to let my daughters read the books.

I can imagine the life of my little baby someday. We'll call this future daughter Purple for the lava in my lamp. One day Purple discovers the Twilight series. I can only imagine her and my after school talks. They'll go something like this:
Future Momma(me):"Purple! How was school!? Did you have any tests?"
Purple:"No mom, but I got a new read at the library!"
FM:"Is it a swell read, doll?"
Purple:"Oh, yes, mother! It's all about a boy who ditches his girlfriend and wants to kill her and thinks she is interesting because she's got nothing on her mind at all times! Isn't that grand?"
FM:"No. . . I'm going to get your father."
And then my beloved Jacob will come and stab her book with the Basilisks fang, spank her, and I'll ground her for reading bad books. I'll win Parent of the Year for sure!

Funny story, when I started reading Twilight, I was in high school and I had a nice boyfriend boy guy that I liked to spend all my time with. He read them with me and every day we would laugh about how sad that wretched, screwed over, little Bella was! But people were clinging to it like it was real! I had girl friends that would D.U.M.P. their boyfriends because he wasn't stalking her enough! I loved those psychos.

Anyway. I've read lots of loser books, but I really appreciate the moral of Twilight's story of being anorexic, being stalked and being ditched is totally normal behavior!

Eating disorders forever!!!