Thursday, August 25, 2011

Ness

School starts on Monday and the Denham household is loving it. . . 1/2 of the household actually! I love back to school! I love new folders, new pencils and pens, new 10-page syllabi, and people wandering around trying to not look lost, but being so obviously lost. (Since I've already been there, done that lost business, I feel justified laughing in my head.)

To prepare, I've been cleaning. . . and I mean deep cleaning. This translates to: cleaning out all the drawers in all rooms of the junk we acquired last semester so that we can fill them with junk from this semester. Jack has been preparing in the least obvious way; sleeping. His externship is over, but he has to prepare a gargantuous presentation for the doctors. Plus he worked the whole summer from six a.m. to 5 p.m. so he really does need to catch up as much as possible before he is slammed with his Air Force courses, sciences and maths- all of which are the classes of champions.

The pigs have been being very moody lately. Earth and Fire(Donna) attack Wind. . . literally! They bare their teeths and everything! It's weird, but Wind just loves her sisters and so she lets them do this to her. I put the dumb Earth and Fire in timeout (a kiddie pool with hay) and when Wind figured out she was alone, she just passed out from being played with too much by those mean girls. I feel like my pigs lately but not because I attack my sisters. That would be hilarious. . . no, they eat and eat and eat, then run around for maybe a second from happy full tummies, and then pass out sleeping for hours. I'm such a good mommy to them!

Jack rocks our primary class. He knows all the Articles of Faith already so he's definitely on the Peter Piper Pizza list! Woot!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

camping, new neighbors and weird conversations

This weekend Jack went to work extra early so he could come home and take his woman to a sweet camp trip. Clearly we took our gun because we are not in the mood for a bear attack right before school. We got to our sight around 2:00 pm and right after we set up our tent the rain started downpouring! We sat inside with all our bedding stuff which was good because it was stinking freezing cold. I discovered that foresty creatures like squirrels and skunks think they own the place after a hard rain. Luckily the skunks were never naughty towards us. We roasted marshmallows and ate steak tin foil dinners. It was nice to relax and not have anything we had to do! We were lazy the whole time!

Oh my gosh. Since Jack didn't have work on Saturday we watched movies and discovered our least favorite movie ever. Our super rad neighbors went to Oregon for the weekend and gave us their keys and so naturally we borrowed Country Strong. We had only heard great things so we were really excited. . . we hated it!!! Holy cow. Kelly (Gwyneth Paltrow) is the main character and every five minutes she was either 1.cheating on her husband, 2.having a mental breakdown, 3. cheating on her husband again, or 4.drinking! The worst part of the whole thing was that we had to finish the movie to find out what happened to Chiles! It was horrid. Oh my word. I looked up reviews on it after we watched it and someone said it was the best movie of the year. I almost cried laughing because obviously they didn't see Harry Potter, but really. And Jake especially hated it because dumb Kelly was drinking throughout her pregnancy and then fell off a stage and her baby died. But THEN she had a breakdown about how she missed her baby. . . like. . . it was going to have fetal alcohol syndrome from your alcoholism anyway. . . Jake loves telling people that the movie made his eyes bleed. I loves him!

Our complex just got three new couples and so it has been quite lively around here. One couple lives next to the Elephants, so first thing I did was warn her that the walls are literally dry-wall thin. I wish someone would've told the Elephants that when they first moved in. . . oh well.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

I love Sundays

Today J and I challenged our awesome primary class to memorize all 13 articles of faith, and we bribed them with Peter Piper Pizza if they could do it. Let me tell you that my class is the. best. class. ever. We're friends. . . in fact, they think I'm a cyborg because they saw my heart monitor so of course we did the grown up thing and told them I was a robot. They are too smart to believe that, but they knew they truth about my being a cyborg. They are waiting for my laser eyes.

Anyways. Our class is the best. One of our class mates has been gone for a few weeks so the kids wanted to make him a card. J and I went on an adventure to try and find his house to deliver the letter and we ended up in Baderville!

We played games all day, watched movies, ate dinner, crafted, watched more movies, now he's watching car shows and I'm getting my blog on. . . Sundays are the best. Amen to that.

Monday, August 1, 2011

A vain post about my future mommy skills.

I'm going to be very vain for a few whiles right now. . .

I think I'm going to be a pretty awesome mom. Things keep happening in our lives and every time we come out of one of those situations, I always can tell Jake, "That is going to make me an awesome mom!" Therefore, here is vain example numero uno.

Reason #1: I hardly ever throw up and I only get really nauseous after important doctor's appointments. When I was 16 or 17 my age group of girls went to A-camp for a portion of girls camp. We basically did . . . nothing. We slept, gossiped, canoed, and hiked and ate. All over and over and over.
This is one of my favorite memories of my best friend and I. She had been feeling lousy since the sun went down. Her stomach was achey and she felt yuck-tastic. I am such a pro at having stomach aches so I decided I'd help her throw up! Now now, none of this disorder jazz, just sometimes throwing up when you're sick helps feeling better progress faster! So I gave her a tums. Actually I made her take two or three.
I love this memory to death. Then I convinced her to eat beef jerky. If I could have taken a picture of her face at that exact moment, there would be no words great enough to describe her confusion and sadness! So she took the beef jerky gladly, and ate it. And then she threw up. And I rubbed her back. And I buried her nastiness for her so she could sleep. Moral of the story:I didn't throw up or even get sick!

Now another story: Our neighbors are the greatest ever. They bring us the best treats and they are just fantastic friends. I'd link up to her, but she's private! Take that! Anyway, Jake and I were babysitting her boys once upon a date night. The youngest showed no signs of sickness. . . none. We were all just happy campers eating spaghettis and what not, when we decided it was bathtime. Of course we had to use bubbles. And of course he eats bubbles. Jake and I weren't worried because we got our bubbles at a Whole Foods where everything is natural and you won't get sick if anything gets into your system.
So as bath time progresses, and the little guy keeps chomping down on the bath water plus a few bubbles, he got too much water in his little throat! For the record, his life was never in danger and if it was, I am always current in CPR. Don't judge. So I'm going to grab him from his sitting position and once he's in my arms he starts spitting out all the water he just munched on. After he was done, I put him back in the tub and he looked at me soo happy with his big, cheesy smile. We were happy again. . . or so I thought. . . because the second he was done smiling, he projectiled that vomit straight on to my self! Jake walked in right when it happened, and walked right back out saying over and over "I have to leave, I think I need to leave right now!" And I'm sitting there. . . covered in his "ness" and I didn't get sick!

There are other examples of my newfound super power, but it's definitely not a delicious subject to talk about! But just know, that I will be an awesome mom because I will not throw up on my children when they do something gross.

The end.