Monday, August 1, 2011

A vain post about my future mommy skills.

I'm going to be very vain for a few whiles right now. . .

I think I'm going to be a pretty awesome mom. Things keep happening in our lives and every time we come out of one of those situations, I always can tell Jake, "That is going to make me an awesome mom!" Therefore, here is vain example numero uno.

Reason #1: I hardly ever throw up and I only get really nauseous after important doctor's appointments. When I was 16 or 17 my age group of girls went to A-camp for a portion of girls camp. We basically did . . . nothing. We slept, gossiped, canoed, and hiked and ate. All over and over and over.
This is one of my favorite memories of my best friend and I. She had been feeling lousy since the sun went down. Her stomach was achey and she felt yuck-tastic. I am such a pro at having stomach aches so I decided I'd help her throw up! Now now, none of this disorder jazz, just sometimes throwing up when you're sick helps feeling better progress faster! So I gave her a tums. Actually I made her take two or three.
I love this memory to death. Then I convinced her to eat beef jerky. If I could have taken a picture of her face at that exact moment, there would be no words great enough to describe her confusion and sadness! So she took the beef jerky gladly, and ate it. And then she threw up. And I rubbed her back. And I buried her nastiness for her so she could sleep. Moral of the story:I didn't throw up or even get sick!

Now another story: Our neighbors are the greatest ever. They bring us the best treats and they are just fantastic friends. I'd link up to her, but she's private! Take that! Anyway, Jake and I were babysitting her boys once upon a date night. The youngest showed no signs of sickness. . . none. We were all just happy campers eating spaghettis and what not, when we decided it was bathtime. Of course we had to use bubbles. And of course he eats bubbles. Jake and I weren't worried because we got our bubbles at a Whole Foods where everything is natural and you won't get sick if anything gets into your system.
So as bath time progresses, and the little guy keeps chomping down on the bath water plus a few bubbles, he got too much water in his little throat! For the record, his life was never in danger and if it was, I am always current in CPR. Don't judge. So I'm going to grab him from his sitting position and once he's in my arms he starts spitting out all the water he just munched on. After he was done, I put him back in the tub and he looked at me soo happy with his big, cheesy smile. We were happy again. . . or so I thought. . . because the second he was done smiling, he projectiled that vomit straight on to my self! Jake walked in right when it happened, and walked right back out saying over and over "I have to leave, I think I need to leave right now!" And I'm sitting there. . . covered in his "ness" and I didn't get sick!

There are other examples of my newfound super power, but it's definitely not a delicious subject to talk about! But just know, that I will be an awesome mom because I will not throw up on my children when they do something gross.

The end.


Sasha said...

That is a total qualifier for good mom in my book! I did the same thing a couple months ago, I was watching my friend's kids and the baby threw up on me 3 times and I didn't even flinch just cleaned it off. I think its so funny how queasy some people can get haha

Nichole said...

You are the coolest. That is all.

Sarah Blue said...

Not vomitting on your kids just because they vomitted on you is indeed a super-power. How wonderful that you have it! The best is when they vomit AND have diarrhea. If you can survive that, you can survive anything. :)