Sunday, January 29, 2012

School is ruining my brain.

Homework makes me feel weird inside. I work on it for hours daily and then I go to sleep when it's finished, but when I wake up the next morning to go to class, I get another weird feeling that I forgot to do some type of work.

Then I stress while I ride my bike to school. If I'm confused when I ride my bike to school, my eyes water a little more because the wind always seems to be chilly-er and I always forget my sunglasses to shield that chilly wind when I am confused. So then when I get into the class, I remember how windy the ride was, but since I sit in the middle of a giant lecture hall, I have to wait to go look at myself in the mirror.

And usually on the days I'm confused about having homework due somewhere, the lecture happens to involve partner work. Usually my partners try to be nice, so they see my weird eye makeup which is running down my face and think it's a new style I'm trying to bring in.

Finally, when I get to the bathroom I see my weirdly streaked face and take care of that hot mess. But I'm still confused about what homework is due.

Four hours later, after a daunting lab, I'm still positively confused about what is due. So I get on my bike, ride that hunk-o-junk home, up that horrible hill (to avoid coppers giving us tickets), past the library and the drag-queen hair salon, back to my house.

At home J is waiting at his desk. I say hey, he says yo. Then I try to figure out what homework is due. All the while J is having a conversation with me about his day. I tend to only tune in to the parts where his voice is slower, so I hear things like, "and then the British lady said NO" and when that utterly confuses me vastly more than I thought I could ever be, I remember that I forgot.

Again, I feel weird. So I sit at my table. And sit. And look. And blink. And listen to my Elephants. And sit. And twiddle my thumbs. And while I sit, I try to remember what day it is. But I can't. So I sit. And then all of a sudden it's dark.

When it's dark, I decide to work on my fitness. . . but I almost fall off the treadmill because I'm thinking so hard about the weirdos that put on perfume at the gym and that screech when they see friends. And all the while I still try to figure out what the stink I have due.

I come home from el gimnasio, and I have a shath (shower-bath, duh) and then I sit on my blue couch. And eat string cheese and almonds. And then I decide I'm just so much crazier than people and even myself know, because there couldn't be anything that is due...I mean for Pete's sake, I did homework for days and there can't be anything I forgot.

So all is well in the Jean household. We read our scriptures, say some really radical prayers, and then we sleep. J is out in 13 seconds. I am drifting. . . drifting. . .drifting. . . almosttttt there. . . .

And Bam. It comes to me. "Hey dumb-face! You have a 20 page paper to write that's due in 8 hours about the reason you chose to use a Gram Stain on Bacillus megaterium instead of a capsule stain!" And then some other person living in my head starts laughing like Scar from Lion King. And I just sit up in bed, so confused. Just so. darn. confused.


Merkley Jiating said...

Oh. My gosh. Wow. Verity. This post had me laughing out loud THE NEXT DAY. I had to come tell you. Amazing.

how to hill said...

Hahaha wow i love this post...i think im going to read it again and laugh some more you are great.
Did you get it done in time?