Love Letters

Dear String Cheese,
I'm sorry I ate your brother, cousin, sister, niece, nephew, uncle, grandpa-once removed, and Aunt Millie. I just love you so much and when I open Mr. Fridge to see you I can't help but get excited.

Dear Deoderant,
You make my armpits smell so good. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That time I tried to use you as lotion and smother you all over my body was on accident. . . Please forgive me.

Dear Chicago Spanish Dictionary,
You are still my best friend. Especialmente cuando yo quiero a jugar futbol con los mexicanos. Te amo.

Dear Recipe Book,
Please stop haunting me in the middle of the night. I knowwwww you want to play with me, but I'm busy.

Dear ScrapBook mess in my room,
I apologize for neglecting you. Don't worry. I'll call you in the morning and work on our relationship lots and lots.

Dear Winter,
We're breaking up. I never really liked you that much anyway. You do nothing for me. And you don't even smell good. At least my other seasons smell good. Seriously, it's probably best for you to never call and never show your dirty little face 'round these parts ever again.

Love,
Veritay

Comments

hahaha!!! love all of these. i wanted to laugh out loud seriously.. but my family would think i'm a freak. well.. they already know that. but still.

i so agree with "Dear Winter"
the only really fantastic part (besides christmas) is getting to wear cute jackets and scarfies. <3

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