Lake Roosevelt

October 03, 2015

Lake Roosevelt

I've never been to the lake before.

Don't misunderstand; I've been to A lake, but not the types of lake where specific lake activities happen.

I've been on a paddle boat, and I've gone fishing by tying a nasty piece of string I found near the shore to a stick, and then putting my chewed up piece of Big Red gum on the end to watch the fish come near the gum and leave immediately.

I've for sure gone playing in creeks and rivers and things like that, but lakes are on my irrational fears list, no lie. Check here and here for proof. Lakes freak me out. In addition to the reasons I listed in 2014, I have watched too many episodes of shows with weird underwater fish that can swallow a human whole. . . so no. No, thank you.

One time, Jake and I were dating a million years ago and our single's ward went to the lake. I lied and said I had work so I wouldn't have to go, and Jake was upset that I didn't try to get that imaginary work day off for the lake trip. When he got home, he showed me all these pictures of him doing lake activities (wake boarding, wake surfing, tanning, eating) and I was like, "Cool. I mowed the lawn and cleaned the bathroom for my chores." And he was like, "I thought you had work. . . " and I said ". . . OH YEAH. I forgot. . ." It was a weird and awkward thing.

We've since moved on from that day because, lucky for me, the male brain tends to not remember as much as the female brain when it comes to past arguments.

Flash forward to now, my sister and her husband bought a boat. They'd invited us a few times to go to the lake a few times, but school and previous engagements always prevented us from going. They invited us again, and Jake and I knew this was the time we would finally go to the lake together.

We got our sunblock ready, extra shoes (to avoid being touched by fishes) and we were off.

I kid you not: the terror I felt in the car was so thick you could've cut it with a knife. Jake told me multiple times that I needed to chill out because "the lake is so fun!" And I'd tell him under my breath, "It'll be fun until I get my arm cut open by a propeller. It'll be fun when I get bit by a mysterious breed of lake shark." And so on, and so on.

So we get to the lake. And Gwen immediately runs to the water. My first thought was, "This is my end. Gwen is going to try and kill me at the lake." I hurled my body towards her, and shoved her fat body into a life jacket. From then on, my fears had no time to consume me.

We got the boat onto the water and hooked up a tube. I decided I needed to go first or I never would. I learned that when I fell into the water, a red flag would be held up so no one would run me over. I was also ensured that no sharks would be in the water. And finally, Jake told me the ride would be short because I'd fall off pretty quickly.

He lied.

I think I was being pulled on that tube for an eternity. After I realized the people on the boat couldn't hear me yelling "I'm done!!!!", I started praying aloud to please not break my legs, hands or neck when I let go of the tube. And then I thought that the motor was too loud, so my prayer probably wasn't being heard, so I started shouting my prayer instead. In my defense, it seemed logical at the time. I finally mustered the courage to let go after the 5 hour long tube ride, and when I did, I didn't break anything. I got water in my mouth and nose, but I did it. I did lake activities.

It was a really great time. I was in charge of lunch and I failed miserably, but everyone was nice about it.

Overall, I was scared to death. I swallowed water which means I probably swallowed human flesh and other disgusting things. But it was so fun, and I loved spending the terrifying time with Jake and Gwen, and being in the company of Meredith, Tyler and Ridge was excellent!